Mindless blathering should follow

Mom woke me up because she needed to run errands in order to send her mortgage payment. We run to her credit union so she could get money from her savings and then run over to her bank so she could get a cashier’s check cut. We’re all ready to have it mailed from the post office, except when we get to the lobby door, we see that it is closed both today and Monday. Since when is the post office allowed to take two holidays when there should only be one? I was quite perturbed, and I wasn’t even the one who needed to send something next day, so imagine how Mom must have felt. Thus, we had to run over to Mail Boxes Etc., where we were able to get it sent 2nd day UPS (FedEx is $5 more expensive, because of the greater pickup fee). Mom also got a box which can hold her wreath. We foloowed up with breakfast at Bob Evans and then did a couple of more things and then came home.

One of these days, I have to know what it is I’m doing wrong. I’ve fought all my life to be successful, to be loved and respected, and so far, all I’m feeling is squat. It shouldn’t be this hard for me. Everyone I know is successful in some way, and they always seem to have support from their friends. I on the other hand have to struggle to get the support of a close few. It shouldn’t have to be that hard. Why do I have to be the one who has to struggle? I wanted to be able to be somewhat financially independent by the time I turned 22, but now even that is in doubt. I’ve played my cards right, and I’ve always been the loser. I’m sick of losing. I want to triumph, and I want to be by a landslide. Just because all I’ve ever known was losing doesn’t mean that I’m not able to cherish a sweet victory. So I must know what it is that keeps the victory just out of reach. Yeah, I’m thinking my asocialness has something to do with it, but even many asocial people are able to find success in their lives. I guess I’ll always be the one who has to fight. I’ll always have to fight to get the things I’ll never be able to attain.

If it’s any consolation: Subdimension seems to be running again, so at least I’ll be able to show off any images I have again. All the details as to why they were down is here.


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