Somehow, I get the feeling that I’ve become everything I’ve ever hated

I’m sure everyone is well aware of all the constant whining I’ve seemed to have been doing. I won’t say that all of it is without merit, but a good majority of it is over stupid stuff that no one else really cares about anyway. The reason I feel so upset right now is that I’m so confused about what’s happening in my life right now. I know that honestly that I am adequate and that I can perform my tasks well. I just find it hard to believe that I can be worthy of such compliments, given all my downfalls in the past. And while my personal life hasn’t been very rosy at all, still I must reiterate that I’m greatly appreciative of what I do get. Asking for more is just plain rude, and I apologize if I ever gave anyone that impression (I’ve given it more than I’d like to realize, even given my quiet, reserved nature). There’s no doubt in my mind that now is the time that I have to make things right, now that there looms a major change in my life. I can’t blame the rest of the world for what are essentially my faults anymore. That is what made me feel worse. Not the continued lack of whatever it was I expected from other people. And in a way, now that I’ve clearly pointed this out, I do feel a little better than I was.

On another front, I’m hungry, and so I think a trip to somewhere to get some food is in order. I’m leaning towards KFC, but a yearning for pizza also beckons my stomach. I know, chicken today, Hot-n-Ready tomorrow, and hopefully I can spare enough in the account until the 30th so I can have another check and have sufficient funds to secure an apartment. Although I suppose I do need to call places this week and find out just how much moving in will cost me (some places are offering deals for $199 to move-in, but then how much the rent actually costs is another matter).

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