By limitedbythesky

Mustard Blotches Stats

Formed: 29th June 2005
Split: 16th September 2010
Best Album: ‘Canters Zodiacal Smeary Umbos’ 7/10 in the NME
Best Single: ‘Preemie Agog Retire Biretta Homolog’ 10/10 in the NME (Single of the Week 8th June 2009.)
Records Sold: 462,574 in total (158,951 albums, 303,623 singles).
Reputation: Regional
Groupies: To mmmmjournal VD is not an affliction, its a mark of achievement.

Mustard Blotches Member Profiles


jellyrose lies somewhere in the dark realms amidst Chris Martin and Bryan Adams in terms of vocal talent. And that ain’t a complement. jellyrose is affy shite.


If you take Johnny Marr, chop off all but one of his fingers with a guillotine, beat him over the head with a baseball bat for an hour then you will have a brain damaged squealing vegetable of a man who is on par in terms of guitaring talent as kittyfish.


miwasatoshi would perform much better onstage if they concentrated on playing the songs rather than focusing solely on twatting audience members over the head with their instrument.


reality_hammer might have made it in a shite punk band, but that’s about it I’m afraid.


Tempremental Mustard Blotches keyboardist circle_sky was imprisoned for 3 months in Jun 2005 for breaking a beer bottle over their own mother’s head. Apparently circle_sky had been called ‘a useless talentless cunt’ one too many times.

Single Releases

# Title Date
24 Sericin Aug 2005
23 Remelt Clashers Oct 2005
16 Saves Coach Kistful Gigot Mismates Jan 2006
16 Assist Submits Armoured Zebrass Carinae Clarions Feb 2006
37 Etatisms Yodling Wimpier Numberer Aug 2007
64 Jaws Brookite Veers Renter Calks Hastate Aug 2007
52 Dropkick Subways Tillered Remove Vaunt Kedged Nov 2007
34 Limmers Trail Torquers Screen Titmice Towie Dec 2007
11 Preemie Agog Retire Biretta Homolog Jun 2009
8 Rugosa Lurch Gowan Aug 2009
7 Calcify Squeal Sep 2009
15 Jeering Murky Anther Whamo Nov 2009

Album Releases

# Title Date
34 Cobs Soggy Flannel Cubistic Crispen Jun 2005
16 Amin Guts Jun 2007
25 Canters Zodiacal Smeary Umbos Mar 2009

northern ireland’s worst

Also, I take great amusement when people don’t realise British spelling is being used.

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