April’s off to an iffy start

It’s hard to believe that we’re in April already. I know many people who have birthdays in this month, and I managed to attend one person’s so far, but I know that one which is coming up will wind up to be one that is most enjoyable for me. Somehow, I need to maintain what friendships I do have, yet try to break this curse I seem to have with the opposite sex. It’s been over a year since I met Zoe, and still I can’t seem to find a girl that had her passion. But passion can’t be the only thing, as I need someone who is sincere, and unfortunately for me, sincerity is quite rare indeed amongst my circle of friends. I just need to find someone willing to listen long enough so I can tell them where I stand. It just frustrates me to no end that when I try to seriously speak my mind, either people are too busy to listen or they just dismiss it like it’s nothing.

I know as a general rule life is supposed to have its ups and downs. But whenever I feel to have one of those so-called ups, it always feels so fake, so it’s really a down. I just feel that at 27, I’ve been through lots of those artificial ups, so if a real up ever came, how would I be able to distinguish it? I can only do so much thinking on my own. But surely, I will have what I want, because I’m just as entitled as everyone else is. I guess I’ll just keep trudging along like I always have, and one day I’ll have my genuine ups.


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